Forever in Love
by Janiqua
Summary: Vala decides to help Daniel unpack after The Ties that Bind, and happens upon an old framed drawing... Of Sha're...
1. The Portrait

**Note:** This story doesn't have to be any longer than it is. If you guys want more, than I need to receive a LOT of reviews. Thanks. I hope you all enjoy it!

**Warning:** This story takes place shortly after "The Ties that Bind" ends. For those of you who haven't seen any of Season Nine, there are spoilers.

**Forever in Love**

**ooooooo**

"What 'cha doing?"

Daniel glanced up from where he stood in his office – complete with at least a dozen boxes, it seemed, full of books that he was trying to sort through that evening. Three boxes were already empty and had been tossed into a corner. One sat open on his surprisingly clean desk, and the rest were waiting patiently for the archeologist to get to them. Presently, he was in front of his bookshelf, two books in one arm and another in his hand as he reached to put it back in its original place.

Now Vala Mal Doran had taken room for herself in the office as well, and as Daniel's gaze fell upon her, she offered a friendly, if not apologetic, smile.

His mouth twisted slightly for a moment before he went back to his task at hand, not bothering to speak a word to the woman at all.

Vala frowned. "Now you don't have to be like that. It isn't as if I was _planning_ for this to happen!" Her accented voice was beautiful, as always, but also rather irritated. Daniel hardly cared about either point.

"Right," his voice was sour. "Which goes to show why you were stupid enough to put those bracelets on our wrists in the first place."

"Arlos said the effects of the bracelets would wear off in time," Vala reminded him. "So why don't you try being a _little_ bit more civil with me until then?"

"Oh, I don't know," Daniel retorted, quickly putting the three books down on the shelf and turning towards her. "The best way for _that_ to happen would be if you turned around and left me the hell alone. Or in case you haven't realized, I'm kind of busy right now."

"Ah, yes," Vala glanced down at the boxes full of books in such distaste that was familiar to Daniel. "Don't you have anything more exciting to do?"

Daniel's face broke into an expression of sarcastic realization. "You know what, Vala? As a matter of fact, I did. It involved me getting on the Daedalus and flying to Atlantis. But that's not an option now, so I have to unpack all my books and all my supplies and rethink my options."

"Right," Vala had the courtesy of looking guilty for a moment, but then she removed the expression and stepped towards his boxes. "Well, Daniel. I suppose the very least I could do for you now is to help you unpack."

"Are you kidding me?" Daniel gave her a very skeptical look.

She sighed and unhappily shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, Daniel, there's nothing else for me to do here! What with Teal'c at Dakara and Mitchell up on your planet's surface, there is literally no one here but Walter! Now I know you wanted me out of your hair for awhile, but there are only _so_ many hours a day that I can possibly be expected to take of that man!"

"Stop it!" Daniel's tolerance was slowly starting to slip away. He held up his hands to emphasize his command. "Just stop. No talking." He walked over to his boxes and, finding himself uncomfortably close to the woman, he hastened to grab another armful of books and retreated back to the bookshelf.

Vala sighed rather deeply again and grabbed the pocket knife lying on Daniel's desk that he had been using to open his packaged boxes. She knelt down beside one on the floor and stabbed through the taped cardboard. After pulling off the packaging, she reached back over to drop the knife on the desk, and then settled down to open the box.

Inside, she was pleased to find contents that did not include any books, because she was certain she would not know what to do with them. What _was_ inside the box included several miscellaneous items, like a tissue box, a few artifacts, and a small disc holder. Not that Vala particularly recognized anything, but as long as they weren't books…

Even still, she was unsure of where they belonged. Deciding that this was unnecessarily inconvenient, she resigned herself to just sifting through the contents, observing them, figuring out – or just plain old guessing – what they were for, and looking for anything at all that could be valuable.

But when she picked up the tissue box, her eyes happened to take in the small piece of treasure that had been placed underneath it.

Vala frowned.

It was a picture.

A framed drawing.

Of a woman.

A beautiful woman with thick black hair that coiled around a gentle, innocent face, expressed by a shy, but lovely smile.

Slowly, Vala reached into the box and picked up the picture in her hand. She held it as delicately as she could, as if concerned about hurting it. Who was this woman? And why did Vala suddenly feel so remorseful? Not to mention inadequate?

Daniel, having sensed the woman's sudden diffidence, and recognizing how extremely out of character that was, glanced over towards her. "What?"

But then he caught his breath, his heart stopping completely as his face drained of all color. For he had seen what picture Vala was holding in her hands.

She slowly stood up, her face – for once – drawn and completely serious. If not slightly alarmed. "Daniel?"

But he couldn't answer her. He couldn't even bring himself to look away from the picture she was holding. His heart slowly began to beat again, and all too quickly it began to race.

In his mind he could hear the voice of a most beautiful shadow. _"I love you, Daniel."_

_Sha're…_

"I'm sorry," Vala said, but Daniel didn't hear her.

For a moment, neither moved, neither spoke, and the room was overwhelmed by a most terrible silence… That seemed to last an eternity.

**ooooooo**


	2. Contemplations

**ooooooo**

Eternity ended.

Heart pounding, dropping the books on the shelf, Daniel turned to face Vala completely. "Put that back."

Vala immediately bent at the waist and carefully placed the drawing down in the box. She looked up at the archeologist with surprising timidity as she slowly straightened back up. All the while, she seemed so much like a guilty little kid who had been caught somewhere she should not have been. And on _that_ particular woman, such a thing was amazing.

Not that it mattered much to either of them at that particular time.

Self-conscious, and entirely ill at ease, Vala brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "So who is she?"

"That isn't your business," Daniel replied, rather curtly. "I want you out of my office, Vala."

"Daniel," her voice held a mixture of concern and sympathy. But he didn't care for it at all.

"Get out."

For a moment, Vala just stared at him. But when it passed, she bowed her head. "If that's what you want." For once, she had the decency not to argue.

His office door shut behind her, and Daniel found himself alone. A heavy weight suddenly crushed his stomach, and at the same time, he felt as he had when his appendix had been removed.

Weakly, he walked over to the box and knelt down beside it. Looking in, he saw Sha're's face smiling up at him, and all at once a thousand thoughts passed through his mind.

_I miss you…_

_I'm sorry…_

_If only I could see you again…_

Sha're was who gave him his strength. His purpose. Even after she had died, she had left him with meaning.

_"You are the only one who can save the boy, Daniel… Promise me you will save the child."_

_"I promise."_

Daniel didn't have that anymore. Back then, he had fought with a stubborn determination that had nearly driven Jack crazy on multiple occasions. The two of them had clashed terribly. Because Jack was a militaristic man, and Daniel had always refused to accept things that did not fit his moral values.

Now a day's, Daniel was more lenient about military policies. Maybe that happened to everyone who had experienced as much as he had.

Tenderly, he picked up the picture of his wife. _My wife…_ Daniel hadn't thought of her in that way for such a long time. He had _always_ thought of her as his love. _That_ would never change. But as his _wife_…

Maybe it was the unconventional way the two of them had been married. Daniel hadn't even realized she was his until another Abydonian had let it slip and Sha're had timidly admitted it. Or maybe it was that, even to this day, Daniel was so awed by the concept of marriage, and by the everlasting union that he had never, and could never, take for granted, that he just couldn't bring himself to think about how he had had it – truly _had_ it – only to have lost it. Not anymore.

He had lost loved ones before. His parents, for instance. And Sarah... Oh, he _had_ loved Sarah once. But not like he loved Sha're… His love for her was uncontested… he had been _married_ to her! And she was gone now.

It seemed like forever had passed since that day… that day that had lasted forever...

Sometimes, Daniel hated the concept of time.

He held Sha're's picture to his chest, tears stinging in his eyes.

_I fought the Goa'uld for you… I saved the child for you… Because of that, I was able to Ascend, and from our love, I was able to bring Oma to save the Abydonians from Anubis. I did it all for you._

_But now I must fight the Ori. And I don't know what I'm fighting for._

He was fighting to save the universe from a threat he was responsible for – however inadvertently. But what was _he_ himself fighting for? Protecting the innocent… doing what was right and good… it was what he had been doing for the past ten years. He wouldn't stop. Not now. He _couldn't_. But saving the universe in itself had become so elusive. It didn't have the meaning it used to. It was important. But it was a job. Just another job.

Perhaps that was why he had been so eager to fly to Atlantis. The City of the Ancients. The _home_ of the Ancients. He couldn't begin to _imagine_ the wonders that lay beyond those primordial walls.

Perhaps some time spent there would have brought out the old archeologist in him. The archeologist he had once been. When Sha're had fallen in love with him.

He wasn't that man anymore. He hadn't been for a long time. But he wanted to be.

_It won't happen now, if we must deal with the Ori._ Daniel honestly couldn't see himself reverting back to his old self with such an imminent threat approaching. Especially now that Jack was no longer a part of the SGC.

_But maybe that's what I need to be,_ Daniel thought glumly. _These guys are worse than the Goa'uld. These guys are a worse evil. Maybe the innocent idealist I used to be would prove more effective than the soldier Jack and Teal'c have turned me into._

_I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this…_

_Sha're…_

_I'm not who you were in love with anymore. Would you love me now? Seeing what I've become?_

What he had become… something else entirely from what he had been…

Except that…

There was one thing Daniel failed to realize… one thing he had _always_ failed to realize. And one thing about him that would _never_ change.

He still felt… like he wasn't good enough.

ooooooo

_Who was she?_

_And why do I, even _now_, still feel so inadequate compared with her?_

Vala was a woman who outwardly _radiated_ with self confidence. Especially when she was with men. When she was with men, she didn't just radiate outwardly with confidence… she _was_ confidence. The _epitome_ of confidence.

She knew how to handle men.

But Daniel wasn't like other men.

When Vala felt absolutely certain she could compete with any other woman for the heart of any other man, compared to that one portrait, she felt _laughable_.

_And that was just a _drawing_! It probably doesn't even begin to do the lady justice!_

Needless to say, Vala had been impressed by her. Not to mention, a little bit envious.

But there was something more to it than just that. Vala had seen the look in Daniel's eyes when his gaze had fallen upon the picture. She had seen the vulnerability, the pain, and the love. A combination that did not ever go well together. Vala didn't have to be the genius that she was to figure that out.

There was a knock on the door to the VIP room, and a moment later it opened. Vala looked up to see Dr. Carolyn Lam softly shutting it behind her.

She frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking in," Dr. Lam assured her, holding a clip board in her two hands. "Making sure you haven't passed out on the floor or anything. We know that you must be at close proximity with Dr. Jackson at all times, but now that you've removed the bracelets, I just want to be sure there aren't going to be any surprise side-effects."

"And we couldn't have done this in the infirmary?" Vala asked skeptically.

"Well," Dr. Lam shrugged, as if either preference was fine with her. "We could. Some patients are more at ease somewhere that's more comfortable." Her words brought a frown to her lips, and she glanced around Vala's room uncertainly. "This _is_ more comfortable, I trust."

"It's sufficient," Vala stated coldly. She crossed her arms. "Are you going to just barge in when it's Daniel's turn to be checked up on?"

Dr. Lam took a deep breath. "It wasn't my intention to me rude, I assure you."

"And that," Vala said, holding up a finger as if she had made some irrevocable point. "Is hardly what I would call an answer. No matter. You can continue."

"Well, I'm glad I have your permission."

"Now, what is that?" Vala demanded, noting the sarcasm in the other woman's voice. She stood up from where she had been relaxing – if that was what you could really call it in her troubled state of mind – and glared at the doctor. "Why is it that everyone on this base treats me as though I were a common criminal?"

Dr. Lam's mouth opened slightly – not in surprise or anything… but in annoyance. "I beg your pardon."

"No you don't."

Dr. Lam sighed and her eyes rolled to her left for a second before she tried again. "Why don't you tell me how you feel?"

"Miserable."

"All right," Dr. Lam nodded, hoping to God she was getting somewhere with the incorrigible woman. "Can you elaborate on that?"

Vala bit her lip, considering her for a moment. And then she blatantly changed the subject. "Do you know if Daniel's seeing someone?"

Dr. Lam started, and looked at the woman in amazement. "You're asking _me_ that question?"

"Do you see anyone else in this room?" Vala demanded.

Dr. Lam exhaled and shook her head in exasperation. "Look, you've known him longer than I have, Vala. All I know about Dr. Jackson is what is in his file. And that is confidential information. You'd have to ask him."

"I'm asking _you_," Vala ignored her last comment. "Because when I was over in his office, I saw this picture of a woman. And when Daniel saw it, he went all… I don't know. I've never seen him like that before. And I just wanted to know who she is!"

Dr. Lam shrugged. "I can't say. Now, we really have to-"

"I've never been intimidated by another woman before," Vala interrupted her, speaking rather contemplatively. "I just don't understand. Daniel's never mentioned her before. And after everything that _we've_ been through together, I'm sure he would have if she hadn't completely left him. Or…" Vala's face darkened for a moment, and she glanced down.

"Unless she was killed," Dr. Lam suggested softly.

"That could very well be," Vala whispered. To the complete surprise of both women, the thief slash con-artist was genuinely discouraged by such a thought. And was open about showing it!

Shrugging it off, Vala seemed to change the subject once again. "Have you ever felt as though you weren't good enough?"

"Honestly?" Dr. Lam was even more surprised with her willingness to answer the question. With her willingness to soothe the other woman's turmoil. But then again… that was one reason she had wanted to become a doctor. Wasn't it? She nodded. "When I first came to the SGC. A little over a year ago, the Chief Medical Officer had been killed in the line of duty. Since then, the job's been filled more than once. No one else seems adequate enough after Dr. Janet Fraiser to keep the post for very long. And I've certainly felt that." Nothing too personal just yet. Dr. Lam might be willing to discuss her job… But not anything else. Not with Vala, anyway.

"I can't remember the last time I've felt this," Vala admitted. "There's something about that woman. If she _is_ dead, I just _have_ to find out who she was! And if she's not, than I have to find out what the _hell_ her deal is, leaving Daniel like that!"

A small smile crossed the doctor's face. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Vala immediately grew defensive. "Oh yeah. We've slept together. Or haven't you heard?"

Dr. Lam's smile turned into a smirk. She shook her head. "No you haven't."

"Perhaps," Vala shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not the kind of girl who gets all desperate over one man. If he's not careful, I'm going to lose interest."

Dr. Lam made a face. _Yeah right._ She shook her head knowingly. "If it helps, I _have_ heard things. About Daniel. In the time I've been here, I've heard that he looks for the good in everything. If there's anything about you that's actually _good_, Vala, he'll see it."

Vala stared at her, with an uncharacteristically hopeful look. "Do you believe that?"

"What I believe isn't relevant," Dr. Lam held up her clipboard. "Now if you don't mind…"

ooooooo

The rest of the night slowly began to ebb away. Over its course, it had touched the hearts of three very, very different people. Three people who spent the rest of the next several hours in deep contemplation of it.

Dr. Lam, for one, who even then wasn't sure what to make of Vala, but who could now truthfully say there was more to the woman than met the eye.

And then Daniel… and then Vala herself… both of whom spent those early morning hours feeling loss, confusion, insignificance, and terrible uncertainty.

All because of one simple portrait. Of one woman whose time had passed long ago.

**ooooooo**


	3. The Morning After

**ooooooo**

It was reaching eight o' clock the next morning when Dr. Lam looked up from her file cabinets to see Vala entering the infirmary. The doctor frowned, and hurriedly pushed back in the file she had been pulling out. Then, she turned towards the con-artist.

"Is there something I can do for you?"

Vala glanced over towards her before plopping down on one of the beds. "No, no! Just got a teensy feeling Daniel isn't going to be in the mood to speak to me at all today. If that's the case, I wanna make sure I'm already here to be cared for when I pass out."

Dr. Lam rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not!"

"I'm sure Dr. Jackson would never put either one of you in that position," Dr. Lam said.

"Well," Vala shrugged, carelessly crossing her legs and holding her hands together on her lap. "We'll see, won't we?"

"I'm sure we will," Dr. Lam sighed and turned back to her files, ignoring the third person who just then entered the room.

"Well, look who it is," Vala stared up at Colonel Cameron Mitchell with a half-hearted lecherous smile. It was _extremely_ half-hearted.

Mitchell frowned as he sauntered further into the room. "You feeling okay?"

"Why do you ask?" Vala demanded. "I don't have circles under my eyes, do I?"

"Well there's that," Mitchell crossed his arms. "I expected to see you in the commissary this morning. That's where you've taken to greeting me every day, or so I thought."

"Aw," Vala teased. She tried to look patronizing. "Did you miss me?"

"No," Mitchell stated bluntly.

"Really."

"Really," Mitchell nodded. "I was just worried that something might have gone down over the night that I missed."

"Nope," Dr. Lam turned towards him for the first time, two files in her arms. She nodded towards the door. "Nothing out of the ordinary, colonel-"

"Wow," Vala turned towards her in mock surprise. "Keep it up like that, doc, and I just might start believing you. Who would have thought anyone else on this base was as keen a liar as I am?"

Dr. Lam stared at her in disbelief. She rolled her eyes again in pure irritation, but managed to hold back a biting remark.

Mitchell was staring back and forth between the two women in confused interest. "So I _did_ miss something?"

Vala rolled back towards him. "Nothing world threatening, Cam, but _definitely_ out of the ordinary."

"And what's that?" the colonel asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

"Nothing!" Dr. Lam insisted. Whatever feelings she might have felt the night before towards the con-artist – whatever surprise or approval or understanding… or even sympathy! she was desperately trying to suppress that morning, and hopefully just forget about. She hadn't been in the business of 'connecting' with people since she was twelve. "It has absolutely nothing to do with _any_ of us!" She glared pointedly at Vala.

The con-artist looked eagerly at Mitchell. "But it _does_ have something to do with Daniel! Something, by the way, that I truly do want to understand."

"You?" Mitchell swallowed a laugh. "Actually wanting to _understand_ someone other than yourself?"

Vala looked offended. "I'll have you know I am a _very_ compassionate person!"

"Right," Mitchell rolled his eyes. Then he sighed and shook his head, giving in to his curiosity. "What happened?"

"We were in Daniel's office," Vala explained, even as Dr. Lam objected with an exasperated whine. "I was helping him unpack, but only because I was _bored_ out of my mind! But then I saw this picture… It was a drawing of a woman! And when Daniel saw it he closed right up and kicked me out. He wouldn't even tell me her name!"

Mitchell looked genuinely surprised. "Jackson's got a _girl_?"

Vala nodded in absolute agreement. "I know!"

"Is it _really_ that big a surprise?" Dr. Lam asked glumly. Both her companions glanced at her with a frown, and she shrugged. "I mean, let's face it. When I was introduced to the famous Dr. Jackson, he was _not_ what I had imagined."

"For an archeologist," Mitchell nodded. "I know what you mean."

"The first time he walked through the Stargate was ten years ago," Dr. Lam continued. "He's been, literally, on _countless_ missions. He probably has had relationships with a _lot_ of women."

"But how many of them does he actually keep pictures of?" Vala demanded.

"It doesn't matter!" Dr. Lam insisted. "Because it isn't our business!"

Vala ignored her, and focused on Mitchell. "You've read his files, haven't you? Don't you have _any_ idea of who she could be?"

The colonel held up his hands defensively. "Hey, like the good doctor said, there are too many files to count! General Landry only gave me a pile of the important ones to read through. And only a _fraction_ of those, at that. Some of the files on this base are extremely classified, even to me. Besides, those reports can be pretty objective. You know. To the point of the matter and that's that. They don't get very personal."

"And there's also the chance that she's from Earth," Dr. Lam unhappily pointed out. "If that's the case, I highly doubt she'd be in _any_ of the files."

"There has to be _some_ record of her _some_where," Vala insisted. "Even if she _is_ from Earth! I've seen enough of your planet to know that you people are overly efficient." She gestured towards Dr. Lam, as if the woman proved her point.

"Thanks a lot," the doctor grumbled.

Mitchell seemed to think the matter over for a second, biting his lip. He shifted his weight to his other leg. "Why don't you ask Jackson himself?"

"I already did!" Vala proclaimed. "He just told me to 'Get out'!"

"Oh," Mitchell shrugged. "I guess you just gotta respect that, then, if that's the case."

"Respect it?" Vala looked truly disgusted. "What's the _matter_ with you people? Don't you want to get to _know_ him better? How are you supposed to be a team if you don't even know who the woman in his favorite picture is?"

"Favorite picture?" Mitchell smirked. "Careful, Vala. Wouldn't want either of us to think you feel threatened by her, now would ya?"

"This is unbelievable," Vala leaned backwards a bit and brushed a hand through her hair. She glared at Mitchell. "Is there _anyone_ on this base _aside_ from Daniel who might know at _least_ her _name_?"

The colonel shrugged. "Dr. Jackson's been a part of this gig for longer than anyone else on this base's been, that's for sure. The SGC's under new management, Vala. A lot of the people working here haven't been working here for even a year yet! And with Teal'c on Dakara, Jackson's the only original member of SG-1 around. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to ask _him_ if you really wanna know."

"Wanna know what?"

Everyone started, and as Mitchell and Dr. Lam turned towards the door, Vala sat up straighter on the bed in order to see past them. And to their horror, they found that Daniel had managed to sneak in on them towards the end of Mitchell's little speech.

He and Vala were caught. The two of them stared at the archeologist, stunned, while he looked back at them rather impassively. Meanwhile, Dr. Lam widened her eyes and hurriedly turned back to her file cabinet.

"Hey man," Mitchell held up his hands and casually stepped out of the potential line of fire between Daniel and Vala. "I just got here. I don't know what the hell's going on."

Vala made a face. "Oh. Thanks a lot."

Daniel regarded the two of them blankly for a minute. Then he slowly nodded. "All right. Well. If it isn't anything too important, I've got a lot of work to do." He turned and began to make his way back out of the infirmary.

And that was too much for Vala.

She jumped to her feet. "So that's it, then? You simply walk in and spend just the right amount of time in my presence so that we two don't pass out again, and then you leave, completely disregarding anything that might have happened last night as if it didn't matter? Well I'm here to tell you something, Daniel, that's _not_ how it's going to work! Not on your life! You're going to turn right around this instant and tell me at _least_ what her name is! Do you understand?"

"Oh boy," Dr. Lam exhaled, still avoiding the whole confrontation as much as physically possible.

Mitchell, however, was glaring at Vala. "Good job. That's _definitely_ the way to go about it." The woman huffed.

And Daniel, who had stopped mid-stride, standing motionless like a statue, now seemed to shrink at each of their words. "What her name was."

"Pardon?" Vala asked, her face paling slightly.

Daniel refused to turn and look at any of them. Dr. Lam, however, was now glancing back towards him, and from where Mitchell stood, she looked truly upset. As did Vala. And as did he.

"What her name _was_," Daniel sighed. "It was Sha're. She died six years ago."

And without another word, the archeologist fled from the infirmary, leaving behind three completely stunned, completely amazed, speechless, and horrified companions.

**ooooooo**


End file.
